


Stay Alive

by FarTooManyFandoms, Potato_Soop_Leo



Series: The Story of Stielsson [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Complete, Fluff, Multi, NSFW, OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27815335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarTooManyFandoms/pseuds/FarTooManyFandoms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potato_Soop_Leo/pseuds/Potato_Soop_Leo
Summary: Do you ever imagine yourself, years in the future? You have the love of your life by your side and a fire roaring to keep you warm in the winter. All of that seemed as though it could be a reality for Leon, up until he had to leave for college. After three months of trial and tribulation, it seemed as though he would never find the time to speak with Emil Stielsson again. Until he comes home for winter break and comes to find that things had changed far too much....
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia), Denmark/Norway (Hetalia), Female America/Japan (Hetalia), Finland/Sweden (Hetalia), Hong Kong/Iceland (Hetalia)
Series: The Story of Stielsson [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818385
Kudos: 8





	1. When He Sees Me

Every beginning has its end, and this story came to an end a very long time ago. Do you remember? It was seven years ago when Emil and Leon lost contact with each other. They had tried their hardest to call everyday, to meet up and have lunch, but school and family swallowed their time up. Emil’s family expanded with the goodbye of Tino and Berwald from the apartment, and Leon’s major took up all of the time he had. Leon hadn’t been sure how he would survive the few years without the love of his life. Until he met Genna. And Anna. And Karoline.. And so on. After seeing so many girls in his first year of college, it was almost as if Emil was pushed to the back of his mind, forever forgotten…

Oh how the time passes. 1998 seems like a very long time ago now, a date in the distant past. The year is 2006, and the city of Oslo Norway hasn’t changed as much as Leon had thought it would. He was coming home for the holidays this year, after having avoided it for so long. Honestly, he couldn’t remember what was so special about it to him as a teenager. He couldn’t help thinking that there was something he was forgetting, but shrugged it off as leaving something back at his apartment. 

Leon would be an idiot if he couldn’t remember the way to the house he spent most of his childhood in. Pulling up to his house seemed like bliss. It was so much bigger than he had remembered. Compared to his cramped studio apartment he was living in while he finished up medical school it was practically a castle. Leon took a deep breath as he put his car in park and pushed up his glasses, looking up at the quick knock on his window. Leon looked over and was met with the smiling face of his older brother, Im Yong, and got out of his car. He was immediately met with a big tight hug, and all the air was knocked out of him. Seeing his brother was amazing, but he sort of wanted to breathe more than anything. 

When Leon was finally released, he was led inside, where good scents surrounded him as well as family. He found that they were all doing pretty swell as adults so far. His brother Kiku had finished his art course and was currently employed at a graphic design company, and even seeing a lovely girl, though she decided to spend Christmas with her own family. His sister’s were living together and running a real estate business, which was getting them pretty far in life. His brother Anurak finished veterinary school, and worked at the local zoo. Kahna was still working on getting a degree, though he wouldn’t say what for. It convinced Leon that Kanha was just living off of selling shit out of the back of his car. And of course his father. Yao had a few more gray hairs than before, but that was to be expected. Leon gave him a big hug and made up the excuse of school for not coming and visiting sooner.

Leon was glad that at least a few people were glad to see him. He hadn’t brought up the best relationships with his classmates or his professors, and somehow he had lost every contact from high school he had. So it was just him, alone in his apartment. Could he even call it an apartment so much as a bedroom?A _glorified_ bedroom. But Leon wasn’t too concerned. Once he finished school he could get a job, and then he could get a real apartment. That was all that mattered to him, finishing school. Yeah, it only takes four years to complete, but Leon had a rough start. First he actually decided to get his PHD, then he decided halfway through that wasn’t for him as it took seven years. Now he was in his last years of medical school, and he was very glad for that.

The night went by smoothly, and Leon enjoyed being with his family. They all at their dinner, and laughed, told stories about the past years that the others had missed out on. It was highly enjoyable for them all, and especially Leon. He didn’t get much entertainment now-a-days with how stressed he was. Everything fun seemed miles away with how much work he had to do. But it all changed the moment they turned the television on.

Leon was just sipping a cup of tea when Kanha let out a whistle. “Man, she’s gotta be the hottest girl alive!” He said, which received him a punch in the shoulder from Anurak. “I’m serious! Look at her! Long blonde hair, bright blue eyes! That’s an angel! A goddess!” Leon gave a small laugh. Yeah, she was pretty attractive, wasn’t she? Leon had to admit she was definitely well proportioned. And it almost seemed as though she was the most perfect thing she had ever seen. 

“Yeah but her husband is a model!” Xiao Mei pointed out. “He’s the hottest guy alive! Though he’s always looked familiar to me somehow!” She said and leaned back in her seat. Leon tilted his head but brushed it off to her seeing some dude on the street someday that looked like a model. But now he was a bit curious. Who was this guy? What made him so attractive? “What does he look like?” Leon asked his little sister. She perked up and smiled. That’s when she pointed to the TV. “Oh oh! Look they’re on the news! They did a movie premier for her last night!” 

Leon turned his attention over to the TV screen as Xiao Mei paused it on a picture of the actress and her model husband. Leon’s cup fell to the ground, tea pooling on the nice rug underneath the coffee table. Yao yelled at Leon for a minute before noticing how upset he looked. Xiao Mei turned her attention to Leon, then back to the TV a few times. Kiku cleared his throat nervously and bit his lip, now understanding the situation. That’s when it finally clicked for Xiao Mei, after examining his picture on the screen she let out a loud gasp. “Wait a minute! That's him! That’s Emil! Why did you never tell us he was a model! Wait, does this mean you two broke up?! How did I not realize that was him sooner, I’ve heard his name everywhere! Emil Stielsson!” 

Leon couldn’t even stand to hear the name without feeling guilty. He stood up quickly and let out a sigh. “I'll go grab some rags to clean this up..” He muttered before quickly leaving the room. 

Leon couldn’t believe it. After those seven years, he had lost himself a model, someone considered to be one of the most attractive men in the country. The world! It seemed like a fever dream, and suddenly Leon felt like he was going to cry. He remembered. That had been _his_ life, his future. The man he wanted to run away with, the man he wanted to marry, to wake up to every day. But no. Instead, Leon was living in a glorified bedroom with hardly any money for food after gas expenses, hardly able to keep himself warm because he didn’t want to pay to keep a heater plugged in, trying to finish school for a career he hardly wanted in the first place. And when he looked at Emil’s face, that smile, the way he had cut his hair a little bit shorter than before…. It made Leon jealous, and his heart hurt. He felt horrible that he ignored all of those calls, those invites on dates. Everything he had ever done wrong flooded his mind. But his father had been right. This would have only lasted if it was a movie. Nothing ever stayed. This was Leon’s first time actually feeling heartbroken. He wondered if this was how Emil felt when he broke up with him. In fact, after they started to love each other, even after they ran away, they never officially started dating again. So were they even meant to be in the first place? It made him wonder if Emil had even loved him in the first place…

Leon was taken away from his thoughts by a tap on his shoulder. It was only then that he realised there were tears falling down his cheeks. He looked over at Kiku and then wiped his eyes. “Sorry, I’m taking pretty long, huh?” He asked as he took off his glasses to better wipe his eyes. Leon had never been one to cry, even in front of his family, but this was his breaking point. 

Kiku frowned and put a hand on his brother's shoulder. “I get it. It’s upsetting, right? I felt the same way when I found out Alfred was married. Even if we broke up when we were seventeen, it still felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. That’s how you feel, right?” Leon nodded. But that wasn’t the end of what he felt. 

“Yeah, but you and Alfred left things in a good place. You two were happy and content with the fact you would never have to hide away and feel the thrill. Emil and I.. we stopped talking after a while and neither of us ever put in an effort to try and pick it back up…” Leon told. This wasn’t Like Kiku and Alfred, they were still friends even. This was just a classic quick relationship story, that ended with them never speaking to or seeing each other again. 

After a few minutes of silence, Leon got over himself. He didn’t need to be acting like this. He grabbed the rags off of the counter and went back to the living room. Leon handed the rags to ao, who scoffed and said, “Took you long enough! This better not have left a stain!” But Leon was hardly listening. How could he when he just found out the person he thought he would die with was married to an actress and having his picture taken shirtless for magazines? Leon considered getting a hold of one of those magazines to be honest… 

Leon’s room was almost exactly how he had left it when he moved away, minus a couple of things he brought with him. His ed was still here, and most of his things. The skateboard rack was still on the wall, with a few of his old boards on it. He hadn’t needed to bring them, and he had sold a few for extra cash. But it still reeked of teenage rebellion. He missed those days. 

After getting snug in his bed, Leon took out his laptop and decided to do some research. When had Emil become a model? 2000. Only six years ago? That seemed like so little, and yet it was only two years after the incident. When had Emil gotten married? 2002. That also seemed like such a little amount of time compared to the current year, only happening four years ago. Leon was a little jealous. The pictures from Emil’s wedding were fabulous, and obviously expensive. He wondered just how long that girl had been acting for? Emil hadn’t been modeling for very long, but maybe Leon underestimated how much money models make. 

And once Leon was done wallowing, he decided to get some rest. He felt so at home in these sheets. He remembered all of the times Emil spent in this bed with him before they had to run off to college. The two of them had decided to live it up while they still could in those last few months. He remembered it like it as yesterday now that the memories were fresh in his brain… 

_”Leon, are you sure this is a good idea.. your brother may change his mind about staying with his friend..” Emil said nervously as he piled his lips away from Leon. The brunette chuckled softly and shook his head, then continued to place kisses on Emily’s lips. Once that got boring, he moved down and started to suck on the blonde’s neck, causing a lovely little reaction from Emil. “Ok, ok… I’ll keep my mouth shut…”_

Waking up the next morning, Leon was groggy. Someone was shaking him awake and whispering to him to get up. Leon matched the voice to his wonderful sister Xiao Mei, opening his eyes a crack to glare at her. “Come on! I want to go do some extra Christmas shopping!” 

Leon wasn’t too sure about her offer, but he groaned and shoved his glasses on, getting out of bed so he could dress himself. A quick glance out the window revealed a snowy ground, how wonderful. Leon didn’t even like to drive in the snow, and he did it fairly regularly. But today was no different for him than any other. It just showed him that the rest of his family was doing much better than him at the moment. In fact, leon hadn’t even gotten any of his family members gifts this year due to his lack of moolah. But maybe Xiao Mei knew this. Maybe that’s why she invited him along. He didn’t want her charity, at least he usually wouldn’t want it, but this was a desperate measure. 

When Leon got into the car, his sister turned on the radio. He heard the sweet sound of a voice, and Xiao Mei practically melted into her seat. “Man, their voices are beautiful together! Have you ever heard them?! Andreplass, that’s their ‘Band’ name! They aren’t really a band, the two of them and all! They’re husbands who went from nothing to everything in the span of a year! A man found them singing together in the main square one day raising money for further research on their friend’s illness! Isn’t that amazing?!” Leon rolled his eyes. What was so exciting? They were a couple of gay guys who were way better off than leon, and they go their fame through a guitar and a couple dollars? How embarrassing.. 

The city was vibrant and full of life. Leon had forgotten how much he hated being out in public, mostly because he hadn’t bought clothing in such a long time. They were all tattered, he looked like a hobo. But what broke college student didn’t? 

Xiao Mei led her brother through every shop, helping him pick out clothes he liked. He knew what she was doing. She was seeing his size, what sort of clothing he liked, and then coming back later while he was home to buy them, or getting them while he was sulking in a different store. This happened last year, and the year before that too. Yeah, he knew her little game at this point. Leon didn’t want anything like that from her, so he looked at a few things, especially when she wasn’t looking. Then she did what he was more expecting. She offered to help him out buying a Christmas present for their father. Leon also knew that she hadn’t a clue what to get Yao, and if they bought something “Together” then she could get out of trying to figure it out on her own. Luckily, it was only Yao, so Leon didn’t have to get anything for his other siblings. But with all of the help he was getting from his sister, he managed to sneak off and get her a nice diamond necklace. Wasn’t like she didn’t already have a million of them, but that wasn’t as special as her wonderful brother getting her one. 

By noon, Leon was more than ready to go home. In fact he voiced this to his sister quite a few times. “Leon stop complaining! We hardly get to see each other anymore, just another hour!” She whined.

“But I wanna go _home_! It’s cold, my feet hurt, I wanna bother dad, I wanna steal his baking supplies and throw it in the koi pond!” Leon whined back at her. She let out a small laugh and shook her head. They decided to finish up in this store and then finish off the day by going and getting some lunch together. Leon couldn’t refuse free food, he was a broke college student! Even more broke now that he’s bought that necklace...

After Xiao Mei finished up paying for another blouse she definitely didn’t need and would get tired of in a week and forget about in her closet until spring cleaning, they made their way to a nice little place by the water. They sat inside, as the patio was closed due to the snow. Leon had to admit, if it wasn’t for his sister, he would have never in his life been able to eat here. It looked like they served gold bars covered in diamond shavings here. It disgusted Leon that people had the money to waste on food you could buy in the grocery store for half the price, but it was their bankruptcy not his. If they wanted to spend two hundred dollars on a piece of cauliflower then he wouldn’t stop them. 

Xiao Mei noticed how silent her brother was. She set her menu down and frowned, letting out a tiny sigh. “Leon, I know it hurts that he’s moved on.. It would hurt me, too.. But you need to let this go.. Emil is happy! He’s married, probably has a pet!” Leon didn’t want to think of that. It made him wonder if Mr. Puffin was still alive, the cat he remembered used to wander around the apartment, and everything else. He remembered that so many things about that family had been strange, and yet it made him feel so calm to recall all of those times..

_”It’s wonderful you haven’t gone mad yet..” Emil said with a small stifled laugh, avoiding being too loud, not wanting to wake the rest of his family. “Everyone here is, and yet you’ve kept your head screwed on so fucking tight..”_

_Leon turned a small shade of red as he shook his head. “With you, I don’t think I could ever..” He whispered softly, feeling a pair of lips hit his own. Gently Leon put his hand on the side of Emil’s face, and the two of them collapsed in silent laughs. “You know, maybe we are mad.. Look at us, laughing over thinking we’re mad..” Emil calmed himself and gave a quick nod of agreement. He thought they were just horribly sick in the head. That they were going to be sent to the looney house. But maybe that was just him. Emil thought a lot of strange things, and he thought them very often. “I just think that some people should stay out of our relationship sometimes, is that so much to ask for..?”  
“‘Hvis alle passet på sin egen virksomhet, ville verden gå rundt en avtale raskere enn den gjør.’..” Emil purred. Though Leon, being not so fluent, let out a quick confused grunt. “It’s a quote from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.. ‘If everybody minded their own business, the world would go round a deal faster than it does.'.. That’s what your little angry speech reminded me of..” Emil joked, giving Leon a quick peck on the lips. The asian male just shrugged. He supposed that made a deal of sense. _

_Leon didn’t have much time to ponder over it that night, he was a bit distracted by sex, but he didn’t think he would forget that one.._

And he hadn’t. Leon remembered it, word for word. He wanted to mind his own business. What he had said in that bedroom seven years ago made sense right now. Emil was married. There was nothing Leon could do to change that fact. He had to mind his own business and then the world would return to a normal pace, he would be able to focus on school. He could graduate, and even get married himself! He didn’t need bleach blonde hair, bright eyes. He just needed to focus on himself for now. He came home for a break from all of his stress, not to get more things piled up on his shoulders. 

It was obvious that Leon had been thinking about this way longer than he thought, because what broke him from the memories was the voice of his waiter. “And what will you be having today, sir?” She asked. Leon jumped a bit, quickly canning over the menu. “Oh, uhm, just the shrimp salad, I’m not all that hungry at the moment…” Leon muttered, clearing his throat as he handed the waitress his menu, watching her walk away. Xiao Mei hiffed and rolled her eyes. 

“Earth to Leon! Is there something wrong? Are you angry with Emil for getting married? You two were never even really dating! You just had sex three times a week and then did your homework while cuddling up! Maybe you thought that would lead you to marriage, but it won’t! Leon, you’re twenty-five, I think it’s about time you forgot about what you had back in high school! You two used to be very very close! And it should only hurt to lose him right after it happens, not years and years later! Am I getting through to you? Please just let me get through to you about this..” Xiao Mei was practically begging, and Leon gave her a nod and a smile. “Oh thank the lord..” She sighed out. 

But she didn’t get through to him. Leon still wanted everything to do with Emil. He missed waking up to see pale white skin facing him, and feel soft blonde hair on his chest. The moment he had seen Emil’s picture on the television was the moment he relised all of that.

After they ate, Leon and Xiao mei went back home, where things were calm and quiet. When they walked inside, everyone was crowded around the TV. Leon walked over to see the news on, making him wonder what was so great. He glanced over all of them to see a big event seemingly going on, with news people everywhere. Leon hardly noticed any of the people, and he took a seat. He wondered what was so important. That’s when he realised it wasn’t just a big event. There were news reporters and crowds of people. All in front of a hospital. Xiao Mei settled herself onto the couch as the reporter talked about something or other. Leon wasn’t paying attention to the screen, more or less trying to distract himself from his sadness. But his eyes snapped to the screen the moment he heard the name being said. “Singer Mathias Khøler, and his husband, Lukas Khøler, are currently in the hospital. Mathias is sustaining a stable condition, after suffering from fourth degree burns as he walked right into one of the flamethrowers on the stage. Lukas has a broken wrist after tripping over a small ledge, and will be released shortly. Tonight at their locol concert, video shows Mathias walking across the stage and catching a flame, and doctors say half of his torso, left arm, and the left half of his face are very burned up. He was taken to surgery to fix up some of the wounds, and has not woken up from the anesthetics yet. We’ll be here for that moment and report to you the moment he wakes.” Leon’s eyes went wide. Were those two the people on the radio earlier? How in the world did he not realize that sooner?!

“And just as we expected, Emil and Marcha Stielsson have arrived here, to support their family!” Leon walked a bit closer to look at the screen, seeing Emil’s troubled face. He had always looked so small when he was upset. The way he ran through the snow, not even wearing his shoes, which were placed in his hands as his wife complained about him walking too fast, because she was afraid her heels would make her slip. Leon wanted to be there, to tell Emil that he was going to be just fine. 

No. He couldn’t take it anymore. Leon turned away and went up the stairs. No matter how much he thought those people hated him, he knew he had been an added part of the family in that year he had been around them before college. Leon knew they had considered him a part of their little mixed up family. How? They invited him on vacations, to dinner, and would persist on him being there. But there was the question of how Leon was supposed to get into the hospital and past police officers and bodygaurds and doctors. And then it hit him. 

Leon shut his bedroom door and ran up onto his loft, digging under his bed for a moment until he pulled out a tattered cardboard box. He grabbed a handful of photos out of the box, polaroids, all with he and Emil, and the other members of the apartment. Celebrating Emil’s birthday, going to beaches, random pictures the two of them took in bed, only blankets covering things people wouldn’t want to see. Leon was sure this would be able to help him pass the people and get in pretty easily.

Leon grabbed a satchel from under his bed and loaded in the photos, slinging it onto his shoulder and finally going downstairs again. “I’m going out for a drink..” he said angrily, slamming the door behind him. It may have been a lie, but he really did want a drink. He needed a big glass of whiskey to drown his emotions away. It sounded like a good idea. But Leon needed to drive and convince the guards to let him pass. Why did famous people need guards? You could just teach them karate. In fact, Leon decided he should write down that idea later, or tell someone about it. 

The entire drive there, Leon had the chills. He drove slowly, yet every so often he would speed up and stop his elf when he realised. He didn’t want to get arrested or anything. In fact, crashing his car and getting placed on the same floor would be a smart idea but Leon wasn’t in the mood to persuade his father to pay for that. Besides getting hurt just to see an ex? That could kill him if he wasn’t careful. 

Leon arrived at the hospital and pulled in, walking right into the building as if it was no big deal. He was good at walking into places and blending in. In fact this felt normal to him. But now he needed to get the room number. That was the hard part. It was obvious that they wouldn’t just hand over the number to someone random. And they may think the photos are fake after a moment. But it was a risk that Leon was willing to take! He needed to see Emil again, even if he was angry. Even if Lukas was angry, Tino, Berwald, Mathias even. Leon didn’t care at all just what happened when he got there. He just needed to get there. 

Leon walked up to the front desk, smiling softly. “Hello ma’am, I, uh, well you may not believe this, but I’m an old family friend of Emil Stielsson’s family. I’ve come to say hi, college has been keeping me busy but I suppose it’s time I came back.” Leon said, a straight face so he didn’t seem too nervous or overly happy and smiley. The receptionist rose a brow and leaned back. He was losing it. Leon sighed and opened his satchel and pulled out the photos. “Look, this is us when we were seventeen. Emil, there’s me, in this one here we all are at the beach. There’s me, Emil, Tino and Lukas.” The receptionist leaned forward, her eyes a bit wide. She cleared her throat and handed the photos back, smiling. “Floor four! Please enjoy your visit, and remember that visiting hours are closed at nine P.M!” She said. Leon gave her a small smile, waving halfly as he walked off to the elevator. 

The elevator ride seemed like hours instead of a couple of minutes. He wondered how much Emil had changed, personality wise, really. He had seen Emil on the TV, his hair looked a little different, and from the look on his face from earlier, he looked a lot less anti social. It was strange, seeing Emil looking so… so, intense. Leon only remembered that sort of look in bed, when Emil topped. It didn’t happen often, but when he did? Damn that guy had been a monster. It made Leon chuckle to remember such things as that. But he sort of missed being in control of someone. 

Finally, the elevator stopped, and the doors opened. There weren’t very many people up here and   
Leon’s heart started to race. What was he doing? Why did he do this? Why did he even come here? It was obvious by the fact that Emil never tried to contact him that he wasn’t wanted. Emil would have called if he wanted Leon back. But instead? No, instead he was coming up uninvited. Emil would be utterly dissapointed. He would yell at Leon to leave, and to never come and see him again. That’s what Leon thought, at least. 

Upon getting onto the floor, Leon relised, the receptionist never gave him the room number. So now he was going to wander around and look at the names on the doors, which had been messily written on whiteboards by the doors. And the moment Leon saw the last name of Mathias and now apparently Lukas, he took a deep breath and knocked softly. There was a small, “Come on in, doc” which immediately registered in Leon’s head as Mathias. He opened the door and gave a half smile, though he looked fairly nervous. Emil’s eyes went wide, and the others in the room looked just as shocked.

“Yeah, I’m not exactly a doctor, yet…” He muttered.


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leon see's Emil again, and relives a bad memory from his teen years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was shorter than i would have wanted it to be I am so sorry :,)

Five and a half pairs of eyes looked at Leon, all of which he couldn’t tell were surprised or angry. In fact, Leon looked pretty nervous himself, and really just contemplated leaving. This was the worst decision he had ever made as an adult, really. He could just walk away and pretend like he was never there. Like he had an appointment or was doing intern work on this floor and, woah, in this hospital nonetheless! Totally! No big deal! He was just going to very quickly open the door and the speed walk away. Sure, he had confidence before this, but for the amount of scrawny beans in Emil’s family, they were surprisingly strong. And, someow, scary as hell. Right now more than ever. Mostly because he could tell that Lukas was angry, not so much the others, just Lukas. 

But then Mathias started to laugh. It was breathy and full of pain, prominent from the way his brows were arched. But he just looked directly at Leon with his old goofy smile. “Finally..” He managed to wheeze out. “Replace.. The witch.. Please..” He asked, shutting his visible eye again. The other side of his face had been covered by bandages. Lukas bit his lip and gave Mathias's good arm a quick but soft hit. But it was somewhat obvious that Lukas agreed. 

Mathias opened up his right arm, waving for Leon to come over. Once he had, Mathias pulled him into a small hug. “Good to see you, Mathias. Congrats on the marriage by the way.” Leon said, quietly as to not disturb anyone. Lukas rolled his eyes but of course gave Leon a hug too when Mathias was done. “Thanks for not murdering me with your tongue the moment I walked in..”

“Trust me, It was very tempting..” Lukas whispered back, but of course had a small smile on his face. But then his brows furrowed, and he backed away. “Wait, how the Hell did you even get in here? Please tell me you didn’t break in.” Leon smirked and had to keep himself from laughing at that. He shook his head and reached into his satchel, pulling out the small, messy stack of polaroids. Lukas took them and slowly looked through them, a calm smile on his face. “These are nice memories, right Emil?” 

But Emil didn’t answer. He sat in his chair with his head down, gripping tightly to his pants. Leon started to walk over as Lukas sat down to share the pictures with Mathias. As Leon reached the blonde, he quickly stood up and knocked his chair over. “What gives you the right?! I’m perfectly happy without you, so what the hell made you think you could come here and make me think of you again?! You aren’t part of this family so why do-”

“Emil Stielsson!” Tino’s voice cut through Emil’s. He quickly stood up and shook his head. “That is so rude of you! Even if _youso_ much.. but I missed you..” Leon wasn’t sure why Emil had to make it sound like he was so horrible, but then again, Leon was the one who never called back. He had meant to! But he never had. So maybe he was the bad guy right now. Yeah, it seemed right. 

“Emil.. I said I was sorry, don't make me say it again…” Leon joked, but the blonde looked up as if he was insulted by that. But Leon just gave him a nervous smile and they went back to no eye contact and hugging. “I missed you too.. this feels so good.. and I’m not here to steal you from your wife, I’m here to be your friend and support you.. and I heard Mathias was in the hospital and I just! It was hard to believe I lost contact with all of you.. that I left you all behind..” Leon wasn't sure how to phrase what he meant, exactly. But Emil understood. There were two things that Emil had thought when he saw Leon’s face. He’s a dick, and I want his dick. But he wouldn’t do that. He needed a real friend. Not another person seeking out his money or his fame, just someone he could be with and talk to. 

But then again, Emil ated everything about his life. His wife was a horrible woman, because when she wasn’t infront of a camera, she was a witch. And well, they had never actually done.. It. Emil had still only ever done that with Leon. He wondered if Leon had done it with other people. Most likely. Emil was actually starting to recall the last time he even hugged Marcha, kissed her. Had it been since their wedding day? They always side hugged on the red carpet, but that was it. Oh how he wished he could tell Leon how amazing America was, too. The scenery, the food. It was strange and yet Marvelous. 

Leon wasn’t paying too much attention to Emil. They stood in silence and Leon was drowning in his regret. The last thing he expected was for Emil to use his forefinger and themb to gently lift up Leon’s chin. He wasn’t still short, he had gotten taller! But even so, he was still a good inch under Emil. But besides that, the gesture made his face turn red, but he smiled softly. Though of course he melted as Emil’s lips touched his own, and he wrapped his arms around Emil’s waist. It was such a familiar feeling. Hr remembered the soft touch that Emil had always had, but never had he expected to feel that again. Or to have Emil’s tongue in his mouth. 

When the kiss ended, it was by leon. He pulled away quickly and shook his head. “No, Emil!” He hugged himself. “Look! I want nothing more than to pin you to that wall and rip your clothes off, but you’re married, ok? You have a wife! And what would happen to you if the press found out about this?! You’d be ruined!” Emil was speechless. But he then nodded. Leon was right. Emil put a hand on Leon’s shoulder and apologised. “Come on, we should go back to the room, and, I should actually go home.” Leon said and and walked out of the nook with Emil, the two of them returning to the room everyone else was in. They all looked up at the two of them, and Emil went back to sitting next to his wife. 

Leon put his hand up and smiled. “Sorry you guys, but my family will get concerned if I’m gone for too long! Zài jiàn!” He said cheerfully. The others in the room waved, minus Marcha who was busy on her phone, and Leon turned around. He opened the door back up, but a voice caught him as he took his first step away.

“You’ll be coming back tomorrow, won’t you?” Lukas asked. Leon turned around and rose a brow. “Well, we’re all coming back around three, and you are more than welcome to join us.” Leon couldn’t help but smile, nodding softly. Lukas smiled back and waved goodbye, and Leon finally left.

Leon did in fact stop by a shop and get a bottle of champagne, mostly for himself to celebrate in his car. He couldn’t stop smiling, and he held up the bottle. “Cheers!” He joked and took a swig from the bottle. He then closed it up and set it on the other seat, so he wouldn’t get in trouble for drinking and driving. Though the atmosphere in his house was much different when he returned. Instead of it being tense, it was calm and quiet. Leon couldn’t help but look up at the large painting above the fireplace. It was old at this point, he, his brothers, his sisters, their father. All of them looked so much younger. Though he still wondered, looking into the almost red eyes of his brother, Im-Hyung, was still in the real picture. The one they were living, where everyone was older. Everyone was in school or finishing school. It made Leon wonder what his brother would have been like at the age he should have been. If Im-Hyung was standing there instead of lying in the ground. 

Leon remembered how that night felt. Sitting in the backseat with Kiku and Kahna on either side of him. Im-Yong in the passenger seat and Im-Hyung in the driver seat. There had been music blasting through the speakers, and they had been on a joyride through empty roads. They thought the roads were all thawed out, it was a dark night and none of them could really see that well without the headlights. It was an old car, and one of the lights was out. Of course then there was the patch of ice in the middle of the road, and the fact they were going eighty miles an hour, way over any speed limits ever. None of them could have seen that patch of ice, and when the car spun out, tragedy hit. In the form of a tree, and the fact that only to the driver side smashed into it. It left Kahna with a broken leg, and the rest of them with cuts and bruises, the only one who needed stitches was Im-Yong, who got a piece of glass to the jaw. But then there was Im-Hyung. The others could hear Im-Yong screaming his name as he dragged his twin’s lifeless body out of the driver seat, sobbing loudly. Leon’s ears had picked up that before they started to ring. He had hit his head pretty hard on the back of the seat, though he didn’t have a concussion, he did have a small nosebleed. 

Everything about that night made Leon feel so cold. Getting taken out of the car by Kiku and seing his brother sobbing over his other brother’s dead body in the grass. All of them freezing as Kahna did his best to get a signal and call a paramedic. Once they did get someone on the scene, they were quick to presume Im-Hyung as dead. The four of them that lived were immediately taken to a hospital to check for injury, and one ambulance took the dead body of Leon’s brother. He remembered his brother’s and he told each other that no matter what they would tell their father the truth about why they crashed. But when it came time to do that, all they said was, “there was a deer in the road, and when Im-Hyung swerved to avoid it, we hit an icey patch.” 

To this day the four of them had kept their mouths shut about it, and they planned to keep it that way. They didn’t want to cause their father heartbreak after all of those years, even if it had been none of their faults, they still felt like they needed to keep this a secret. Because it had been a secret for so long. They wanted it to sound like their brother went out with dignity, after being a delinquent his entire life, instead of going out the way everyone would expect. 

Leon sighed and held up his bottle of champagne to the painting, smiling sadly. “Merry Christmas, Im-Hyung.. Wish you were here..” He whispered and took a swig of the champagne. Leon walked upstairs and into his room, trying his best not to disturb Kiku in the process, though failing miserably. The raven sat up in bed the moment the door had shut, rubbing his eyes. Leon cursed silently and went up to his loft, starting to get undressed so he could put on a baggy t-shirt and go to bed. Of course Kiku was questioning what kept him out so long, and why his brother had a bottle of champagne. But he didn’t say anything, it wasn’t his business. If his brother wanted to come home late with a bottle of alcohol that wasn’t his problem. Kiku lied back down and got comfortable, still thinking about Leon. He really hoped Leon was ok. 

And yeah, Leon was great. He had seen Emil again. Felt him, kissed him, it felt great. This was his own holiday miracle. Seeing the love of his life again. Oh god it felt amazing. Though it started to make Leon think about growing up here. And the people who had lived across the street from them. A very large family like their own, well, once you got down to it. It was more or less a split family. Kiku had known them better than anyone, since the man over there and Leon's father sort of hated each other. But of course Kiku had never cared about that and continued to see the boy next door. But Leon had never found much interest in those guys. His brothers seemed to, but mostly Kiku and Im-Yong. But Leon remembered once meeting the woman who used to live there, the mother. She had two daughters of her own, obviously from sleeping around. Leon remembered thinking she was extremely attractive, being that he was sixteen and super horny. But he got over that quickly since his brother died two weeks after meeting that lady. And Leon wondered if they still lived across the street because that would make Kiku so off feeling. The fact his ex boyfriend, the guy he gave up so much for in his life, getting married? It made him sort of sad, obviously. Leon imagined that the way kiku had felt, was the same as how he felt about Emil. 

Leon had finally been able to drift off into sleep, though his dreams were sort of plagued. All he could think of was his childhood, something he had been able to forget. He remembered about going away with Im-Hyung to Britain and spending years with a woman named Alice, and when Im-Hyung was finally able to come home. And of course what had happened that night…

 _”Come on it’ll be fun!”_ No, it hadn’t been fun. Leon remembered Kiku telling them they shouldn’t do it, but since he had gotten stood up by the guy across the street, he was in. _”It’s a stupid idea.”_ Anurak had been completely corect. It had been so incredibly stupid, because that had ended up killing one of them and making their father so upset for a whole year after. In fact he seemed to never have recovered from that. And he absolutely refused to get a new painting for the fireplace. He obviously wanted that to be what tied him to his son. 

It was safe to say that Leon had a pretty hard time trying to rest up well that night. His brain was so full of things it felt impossible. He just wanted to see Emil again, and he wanted to get sleep. He wouldn’t dare get himself drunk just to pass out for sleep. So he settled for just trying to sleep on his own, blocking out his bad memories and thinking of the good ones.


	3. Dead Girl Walking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some bone zoning oop

Leon slept for quite some time once he was finally able to. He woke up with a lot of mixed feelings. He was happy of course, after seeing Emil. But being honest after so many years had reminded him his brother was dead, which made him sad. And of course he was tired. He was excited too. He would be able to go and see Emil again today. Though he would also have to see his witch wife Marcha. Though it seemed like she hadn't even cared Mathias was hurt yesterday, so Leon hoped in the back of his mind that Marcha wasn’t going to be there today. Yesterday was evidence enough that Marcha was bored in the hospital room, and if Lukas had noticed that, he would surely tell her not to come back. Leon was sure of that much, since he had gotten to know Lukas pretty well. And if anyone disliked Mathias, Lukas disliked them. 

Leon slipped out of bed and looked across the room. Kiku was already gone and had probably gone off to work. He found it rude that Kiku’s boss didn’t give him the holidays off. But Kiku definitely loved his job. So Leon kept his mouth shut so that he could keep tensions low with his brother. Leon walked down the steps and didn’t hear much of anything. He assumed people were working it going out to do last minute shopping. But then, he heard something. Someone talking. Leon snuck down the stairs a little more and could hear the voice more clearly. It was his father. “You were always such a troublesome son..” Yao said quietly. “But I miss you so much. I would never change who you were, even if I had a time machine, the only thing I would do is save you..” 

Leon’s heart sank. Did his father really talk to the painting? The big one above the fireplace? Or did he have a photo of Im-Hyung? Leon recalled the same year they fit the bug painting done, they also had individual painting of them all. Those were hung up in the hallway upstairs. All eight of Yao’s children had been captured in place that day. It wasn’t too long after that he only had seven children. So he came down the stairs all the way. Yao noticed and turned around, still hugging the photograph of his song close to his chest, tears in his eyes. Leon frowned and sat down by his father. “You really shouldn’t dwell on the past…” Leon said softly, he didn’t want to come across as hostile or rude. But he was right. 

Yao nodded and looked at the picture, sniffling softly. “It’s been all these years and still deep down I still want my son back.. I want a new painting done of us… all nine of us together. I want to see how he would look now..” Yao set the picture on a pillow by him and sighed before he stood up, walking away. Leon sighed and looked at the photo. _Im-Hyung never looked happy in any of his photos.._ Leon thought to himself. He missed his brother. More than anything. He was there, he watched him die. But he wasn’t ever going to watch his siblings die again. 

Leon wasn’t sure what he should do for the next few hours before returning to the hospital. He could always go and run some errands or he could always go back to sleep. But that’s when his phone started to ring. He looked down and saw the number, he hadn’t memorized it, so he assumed it was his work. Leon answered the call and placed the phone by his ear. “Hello, uhm, this is Emil.” The voice said on the other end. “Is this Leon?”

Leon was speechless. But he cleared his throat and relaxed. “Yeah. I uhm.. you caught me off guard with that, shame on you.” He joked, and could hear a small chuckle from Emil on the other end. It made a smile curve onto Leon’s lips. 

“Ok tiger, calm down! I wanted to know if you would go out to lunch with me? Marcha has this stupid photoshoot going on and I hate being in the house all alone. So I thought, hey! Leon and I are trying to get good and friendly again! Let’s get something to eat and reconnect!” Emil suggested, and it was obvious he was nervous about it from the tone in his voice. Leon could just barely hear that. But he couldn’t help himself. He knew so badly that he wanted to go. 

“I would really like that, Emil. Don’t get so panicky. I don’t have anything better to be doing, and lunch sounds good.” Leon said gently. He didn’t want to let his father hear him on the phone with a model after all. “I’m staying with my dad.. you can come and pick me up at eleven thirty..” he said quietly. Emil agreed and then the two of them said their goodbyes. Leon looked at the clock on the table across the room and nodded. It was nearing ten, so he better get ready. 

Leon took a quick shower and then got dressed in some casual, yet nice, looking clothing. He made sure his hair was combed and his glasses were straight before going back downstairs. He still had a good five minutes to spare when Yao caught him on his way out the door. “Leon, where are you going?” He asked. 

Leon turned around and smiled sincerely. “Just out with a friend from school.” He lied, and then walked out. Yao walked to the window a moment later and peeked out just in time to see a nice car pull up, and to see the boy he never thought he would again. Emil Stielsson, giving his son a hug. Yao’s eyes went wide and he hid behind the door. He couldn’t believe it. All this time and Leon had been seeing Emil? No. No it had to have been recently. The way Leon had reacted last night was too much. But that means it would have had to have been last night. Maybe when his son was drunk he had called Emil and finally apologized. Yao nodded to himself. That had to be it. 

Leon had never been in such a nice car before. The seats were comfy and the heat was running so neither of them got chilly. He couldn’t help but notice how casually Emil was dressed. Weren’t they going out? Leon imagined Emil liked to keep up his public image. “So where are we going?” Leon asked, now genuinely curious. 

“Oh!” Emil looked over at Leon for a second and then back to the road. “I was thinking I could just order some take out and we could sit in my living room. I hate going out because the press is all over. I don’t want to have all of my personal life revealed right?” He joked. Leon laughed a bit but he didn’t really understand. He was just some college student struggling to keep himself up. But he did like the idea of being alone with Emil for real. So leon told him that was a pretty nice idea. What could really go wrong? It was only a little bit of lunch with his ex who just so happened to be a very famous model. Nothing could go wrong.

They arrived shortly at the flat and Leon was stunned. It was so big! He couldn’t get enough of the art and the furniture. Emil thought that was all pretty funny and he called for some food to be delivered to the flat. The good stuff, he told Leon. And of course that made him so happy. Leon wasn’t one to be obsessed with becoming rich and having a lot of money, but he couldn’t help the euphoria he felt in this moment in the penthouse.In fact he could feel himself melt as he fell down onto the couch after the tour whilst Emil answered the door. The food was finally there and the two of them sat on the couch, talking and talking.

They talked all about their lves the past few years. Leon mostly talked about his school troubles. Assignments and bullies and tests. He was getting pretty tired of this whole doctor school stuff, but he knew he was also so close to being done with it. Finally, Leon turned to look at Emil. “So, how is it that you got.. Here? Modeling? You were pretty set on being a vet last time I talked to you.”

Emil set his takeout container down and looked at Leon with a blank expression. “Oh, yeah. Right, well, I remember I was in the grocery store. Lukas and I were bickering over something again, it’s not like I can remember. And this woman walks up to me. She just started gushing about how good I looked. My hair was shiny, my eyes sparkled, my skin was clear and pale, I was thin. Lukas and I thought she was insane and were getting ready to walk away when she stopped us and said she was a modeling agent. We were cautious but she showed us her business card and junk, and invited me to meet her higher ups. I looked like shit clothing wise but I said why not? Lukas and I followed her to this cool looking place and she led us inside. Finally she asked my name and then took me into this big interview. I didn’t have to say much, just had to show off my looks to them best I could. Didn’t take them long to hire me and shove me into clothing magazines.” Emil took a sip of his water before setting it off to the side. 

Leon could see just how much Emil had come out of his shell. Smiling and laughing a lot more, Leon thought it was pretty cute honestly, but he ignored that and continued to eat. That is, until neither of them could contain it. They slowly got closer and closer to each other as time went on, and soon, they were staring into each other's eyes, as if longing to go back to what they used to do.. To what life used to feel like for them..

Emil bit his lip as Leon slid a hand onto his thigh, and it wasn’t long until their lips crashed togather, hungry for a long lost flavour, even if all they could taste was takeout food. They made sure the boxes were on the table as they fell down onto the couch, Leon straddling Emil’s hips as he roughly kissed him. Emil couldn’t believe that he was doing this. On his couch, in his home, when his wife could barge in at any second if she was let out from work early. But he was confident enough that she would actually be home late. She definitely would be kept late. 

The two of them stuck to making out for a good ten minutes, but they were very energetic about it, grinding on each other and clothes slipping off here and there. Finally they were only in their boxers, and Emil pulled back. “Leon..” He muttered, breathless. “I know you don’t want me to cheat on Marcha or anything but… Oh god I haven’t had sex since the last time was with you and i am so turned on right now!” He complained with a small whine. Leon was a bit confused. Emil had never had sex with Marcha? He could understand them hating each other but.. It was just strange. Leon brushed it off and smiled a little. “Emil.. I have to get home at some point.. My family will want me back for the night, family time and all..” Emil frowned and gave Leon a pouty face. It was something the asian couldn’t resist, chuckling. “You want me then let’s do it, make it quick though!” He yelled, Emil letting out a small howl. The two of them were being playful with this moment, knowing it may not happen again. 

The two of them were laying on the couch for an hour after their quickie, just talking and making out. But it came to an end as the two of them got dressed and Leon said goodbye as he left. He hated to go but hey, that’s just how things seemed to go. That’s when he remembered, turning around and winking. “Maybe we should carpool to the hospital.” He offered in a suggestive tone. Emil lit up and laughed a bit, nodding as he grabbed his coat and dragged Leon down the stairs and to the parking garage. They decided to take Emil’s car, since it had more space, and they were off.

They were both very fidgety as Leon was leaned down under the stearing wheel, sucking off Emil and just hoping to god they didn’t get pulled over. This was something neither of them had ever really done, and it was pretty exciting. The two of them were like addicts returning to the drug they had quit years ago, that had been offered suddenly. Neither of them had any complaints though. The feeling of Leon’s tongue running over his most sensitive part, shuddering and moaning. Leon loved that sound, he missed it. It was music to his ears. 

Emil hit his climax as they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, causing Leon to almost choke on the sudden spurt of cum hitting the back of his throat. But he made sure it was all out before pulling away and getting out of the car, he spit most of it onto the concrete, in a pile of snow, and swallowed back what he couldn’t spit out. They didn’t have to check in, just a wave of his hand and Emil was let through to see his brother in law. The elevator ride up was a lot of mindless flirting until they were almot to the room, at which point they quieted down about their day. Before going inside, Emil leaned over and licked the side of Leon’s lips, winking. “Had a little bit of your desert left on your lip.” He purred out, and then opened the door. Leon huffed and wiped his mouth. “What a mess of a man, walking around with food on you!” Emil teased. Leon just rolled his eyes and chuckled a bit. 

Lukas chuckled a bit at their bickering as Leon gave a small wave hello to everyone, although he remembered them all, he was a bit nervous. It had been years. So he decided to focus his attention on Berwald and Tino. He hadn’t heard about them in recent years, so they must be pretty tame. “So what about you two? What have you guys been doing these past few years?” Leon asked them. 

Tino perked up and shook his head. “Really nothing! We moved out on our own, adopted a dog! We’re very happy together, just the two of us! Oh and, of course Hana, she’s a Maltese!” Leon smiled and nodded. Yeah, this fellt a lot less tense now. He was glad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE! I had zero inspiration and I am so sorry! This will probably be the shortest of the fics im planning in this line, so I apologise for that. I have no real inspiration for this one, and it's more of a short filler story before the third, and most likely, the final fic. (I actually thought a little about writing one about how all of the stinky adult nordics first met lmao, wouldn't that be good fun? Tell me what you think!


End file.
